Lasith (lasith) wrote,


Fast and Furious, Quick and Curious is a change from life to desperation.  The old man seated at the head of the dining table coughs.  The cough continues until a back blow is given.  The sputtering for breath continues until a call is given; an order for outside help.  The gathering storm of assistance encircles the man, I rush to the phone and place my digits on the digits and the call is made. 911.  As the medics enter the household the old man is secure in himself, the passionate plea for assistance is over.  "You did the right thing.  Better safe than sorry." the medics state as the blood pressure and heart beat are monitored.  911 called yet not needed, comforting and cautious to the possibility of pain.

Fast and Furious, Quick and Curious is the change from life to desperation.  Or it can be the a tedious and painful path, long and labour filled, but the destination is still the same: desperation.  Life is a path of changes and choices made.  I remember the dining table and the same chaos.  Anger and frustration had instilled fear into our skin and vacated me and my brother to the basement. The fists that had so embittered me now reached it's more consistent target, shouts turned to tears and wimpers.  A shout for assistance bellowed us from behind the basement door.  "Call 911!".  She cried and we were paralyzed.  So many times had we wished to dial those digits and so easily it was dialed prior.  But when the beatings and fury was placed upon us it was only beared like a yoke around our necks.  And thorugh the tears she picked up the phone herself.  Gathering the courage that we did not have, the fear had destroyed some of us.  The soul that we once had was somehow tainted.  Looking back at the night when the digits were dialed and the Police knocked at the house's door, a relief and sadness envelops.  What if the courage was in us, what would we have said when the voice replied "911, What's your emergency" The answer  "Our home is broken, our family is broken, we are in shreds" 

The path to desperation and destruction can be quick or time consuming, it is a path of sadness, fear and anger.  In the aftermath there is shame.  Blameing ourselves for what should have been done, what could have been done.  Stuck in moments of painful reminiscing of hiding and crying, of fearing and inaction.  The home was broken long before the old man was choking, it just crumbled and died the day courage was gathered to call 911.

My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you've seen me before

If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was

I think it's because I'm clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it's because I'm crazy
I try not to act too proud

They only hit until you cry
And after that you don't ask why
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore

Yes I think I'm okay
I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that's what I'll say
And it's not your business anyway
I guess I'd like to be alone
With nothing broken, nothing thrown

Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am

Tags: 2009, bio, change

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