Lasith (lasith) wrote,
Lasith
lasith

Eclectic Sadness

I board the bus and head to the back. At the back  I can be voyeurtic, my sunglasses shade my eyes.  I watch them behind this blind like a Peeping Tom.  Harbouring my silent thoughts and glad of both my view and the fact that I shall never have to relinquish my seat to another.  I rarely see a smile on these travellers who share my journey, only a hidden gem usually when they are on a cell phone or a conversation.  What sad thoughts are entrapped in our minds when we linger alone?  An elderly lady boards and I smile as She is given a seat by a teenager in his sideways baseball cap. I smile while mouthing the words of the song playing in my headphones, "Change Clothes" by Jay-Z fades into "Ironic" by Alanis.  My mind wanders into their minds and sees causes for sadness.  They no longer hear the music, their lifes have become dull and monotonous.  I stare into one woman who is heading to a job she no longer enjoys, her eyes dull and tired.  I'm always seeing the stroller with the young mother boarding, not yet reached the age of 18 but her child cries her awake.  Who knows where the father is?  I am reminded of a college friend who prayed each night that his girlfriend would not be with child.

What prayers are whispered by these people?  Are prayers meant to be kept secret like birthday wishes?  I cross myself when the drunkard stumbles to his seat.  If ever there was a prayer to be said it must be for this drunken soul, whose been ensnared by a drug that's sucked his wealth, mind, and spirit.  I mouth "Our father, who art in heaven..." and hope that his spirit will last him til happier days. 
I recall the begger on the streets of Sri Lanka who is burned into my mind, "Please give me rice" he said.  My mother reached into her purse but He shook his head, "You don't understand, if you give me money I will go to the bar and drik it all".  He walked away empty handed but taught me one of the most important lessons of my lifetime.

I can not be saddened by my life because my mind is filled with the ecletic sadnesses of others, their struggles.  A smile creeps across my face as Michael Jackson's "Heal the World" plays in my ear.  I stare with the vacant smile out the window at the darkening clouds,  "I hope that man in the wheelchair gets on before it rains"




'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Your a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet yeah

No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet yeah

You know I can't change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
That you've ever been down
That you've ever been down

Tags: 2009, bio
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