I awake before Apollo flies the chariot
But like Icarus do I fly to high?!
Questioning myself if I am Judas Iscariot?!
Letting all down when the tide is high
So I sit to contemplate my fate
And see that there is no need to fear soaring
For putting too much on my plate
For without the risks I take, life is boring
And so I say father give me wings
And see the joy I bring
To myself and the ones I love
And let me not be a hawk but a dove
To bring not only joy but peace
For when I sleep Apollo has dissapeared for hours now
And my heart doesn't seem to cease
To want to seek my own unwalked path somehow
I seem to have had one of the most busiest saturdays of my life...It started at 8 am and I went to bed at 4 am...it started with
Curling with Jenny at the Saville...I definately have balance problems but I am love curling! I do know that the last times I
have been curling I have been yelling too much...But I have a habit of doing things in extremes...I really enjoy the shot making
but the falling is really bad on my knees and elbows...Ice is hard and I end up on my ass too much. But after Jenny told me that
she was going to Volleyball to watch the Bears and Wesman. I invited Ravinder...It seems that I want to move fast...my mind is
thinking that I shouldn't...I think she might go on Ski trip with me. And she'll be on mixed volleyball with me. I just seem to
be impressed by women I guess...
Jenny invited me to the Lacrosse game but I had to have our floor meeting/dinner/dance. Jenny has a heart of gold. She works
with a person who is developentally challenged. Her thoughts were to take her to the curling tournament we are going to watch.
She recently took Alexis to a basketball game and Alexis was able to yell to her hearts content. I sometimes wonder if I should
be an Ice Dragon...To simply contemplate rather than breath the fire...To have the fire and not use it seems stupid now. I love
to do and say things from my heart. The beauty is that I think I can take it now. I'm tougher...stronger in my heart.
Maybe it's true that a girl's voice is like a lullybye. I just dream on it I guess...It seems like
Ravi does everything her parents wish...But I can not help but be impressed by her love of her family, her love of sports, her love
of competition and her hardworking nature. I suppose I am working harder this term...I am sleeping less...watching less TV. I think
sometimes you just have the energy and motivation...I guess it's a lot of little things but I am happy. As i told Diana...I am content.
I can be happy with myself now.
After Volleyball I had to leave Rav and I felt bad but I had to work a shift at ECSA. Rav had some bad news but I think she went home
and cleared it up. She seems to believe that bad things happen to her. I hope she doesn't thing that I am a bad thing. After that I
rushed home to get ready for our floor outing where I had spagetti. I'm glad I have my new floormates but the old ones seem to be
not the fun bunch I hang out with on 6th. After we went to Squires to visit Steph who was tipsy. She seemed overly excited every time she
saw me...LOL. After we left Squires which was a challenge in itself...We waited 40 minutes for three people. I think I angered Diana
with my Charlie Brown analogy but I have come to realize that I take pride in doing things that I say I will. I think that it is not
the normal human way. I think it is nice to tell someone that you will do something and then they are happy when you do it. And so after a long walk up and down whyte...I ran away...
Away to see Kat...and I discovered the rest of the night. I had so much fun at the Roost. Unfortunately kat got as much female
attention as I did...LOL...But I felt free...Content and happy to be with her...To smile and dance and not worry about what other
people think. I like being who I am...It is why I do the things I do...Because it makes me happy...Hedonistic maybe...But I have
lived in misery, despair...It seems like now I can fly...Because I have faith that my friends will catch me. Hopefully when I spread
my wings they will too.
Fell in Love with a Girl - White Stripes
Fell in love with a girl
fell in love once and almost completely
she's in love with the world
but sometimes these feelings
can be so misleading
she turns and says "are you alright?"
I said "I must be fine cause my heart's still beating"
She says "come and kiss me by the riverside, bobby says it's fine he don't consider it cheating"
Red hair with a curl
mellow roll for the flavor
and the eyes for peeping
can't keep away from the girl
these two sides of my brain
need to have a meeting
can't think of anything to do
my left brain knows that
all love is fleeting
she's just looking for something new
and I said it once before
but it bears repeating
Fell in Love With A Girl...