Lasith (lasith) wrote,
Lasith
lasith

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Religion

You are Agonistic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.



I could make a good religion and then it would get fucked up
because of power struggles mainly...Everyone seems to think
that there should be rules for every situation in their holy books.

Like if aliens came down...one religion would say that they were Gods,
another would say if you pour holy water on them then they become humans,
another will say make sure you use rocket launchers instead of ak-47s and another
would be drinking some "special punch"

And then if you ask them why rocket launchers? They would quote an obscure
passage from a book written before anythng was ever launched, let alone
rockets.

I know I won't go to Heaven because I think I'd do a better job than God.
I heard some guy called Lucifer thought so too. I would go and meet the
maker and say you really fucked up Africa huh? What do you think of crack
babies? That was nice how you committed genocide...We put people like you
to Death on Earth. But the funny thing is...he couldn't kill me...he couldn't
put me out of existance...He isn't buddhist like me...I have eternity...so
boring...I get bored thinking about it

Honestly though...I wish to get reincarnated until I can be God...I want to be God...
I would do nothing though...I would just take naps...The funny thing is almost
everyone would say...He does everything! I got hurt at basketball...God is mad at me
and I need to pray...Honestly no one holds God accountable...I do...I need an explanation
for these things...if God's answer is stupid...I would just say...Umm send me to Hell please...
I hate hypocrites...Jesus was nice but he's fooling around with Mary Magdaline

But in the end I won't do anything...I'm all talk...But I do know that religion is
silly...Why follow something that persecutes you? Looks down upon you because you
are gay, had pre-marital sex, had an abortion, pulled the plug on your brain dead
wife...I don't take that from anyone..I got enough problems...I don't need God giving me
more...pick on someone your own damn size

God Shuffled His Feet - Crash Test Dummies

after seven days
he was quite tired, so god said:
"let there be a day
just for picnics, with wine and bread"
he gathered up some people he had made
created blankets and laid back in the shade
the people sipped their wine
and what with god there, they asked him questions
like: do you have to eat
or get your hair cut in heaven?
and if your eye got poked out in this life
would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?
god shuffled his feet, and glanced around at them
the people cleared their throats, and stared right back at him
so he said: "once there was a boy
who woke up with blue hair.
to him it was a joy
until he ran out into the warm air...
he thought of how his friends would come to see
and would they laugh, or had he got some strange disease?"
god shuffled his feet, and glanced around at them
the people cleared their throats, and stared right back at him
the people sat waiting
out on their blankets in the garden
but god said nothing
so someone asked him, "i beg your pardon:
i'm not quite clear about what you just spoke....
was that a parable, or a very subtle joke?"
god shuffled his feet, and glanced around, at them
the people cleared their throats, and stared right back, at him.
Tags: religion
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