June 30th, 2005

Is it not strange...

I recieved an E-mail today from a girl who actually liked my journal.
I should retire now while I'm ahead. Anyway I feel obligated to
try to produce material that is interesting and unique. I have been
told that I do not put enough juicy personal details about myself on the
journal...I assure you there are plenty. However I rarely find my days
interesting to post about. It seems to me that the most interesting part
of my day is when I talk to Annj. I would like to go to England to visit
her but I am expecting a letter that doesn't seem to come.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go to a concert...I am seriously considering going to the concert putting a jacket on my seat and walking out. I would come back three hours later...fully fed, refreshed, and ready to riot. Should that not
be the new Canada Day activity? We would show the world that if hockey teaches
you anything that you don't fuck with a Canadian cuz he'll pummel you. Why don't i ever have the opportunity to get into a fight...Sometimes I go down
Whyte avenue and am asking for it but I never get it...If I wasn't so ethical
I could just find some guy I don't like the look of and start wailing on him.

I'm trying to shed this personality of being too nice and cute. Being called
Hunnny Bunny and Cutie Pattotie is fine on the phone but it lacks something
on print that say Adonis, Greek God, or He-Man may have. I think I should have some input on these things but the woman is even more adamant...I like
that...cuz deep inside of me, in the places I don't realize are there...I
like being her Hunny Bunny.
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My Crazy Story Reposted...

This is a story I have written and not written...Most of it can be considered
fiction...However to add some reality I have added some additions:  From
the Dhammapada, The Bible, Koran and some from another piece of
fiction called "The Lord Of Light"  Please do not be offended...But be
honest in your thoughts...

He came before the one known as Jesus but he was also guided by the
Hand of God.  He came to a people divided and yet so great in number. 
They had so many toungues which were swayed which way and that by
time when they had sought to oust God from his thrown.  The people of
Babylon whose tower was now the peoples' downfall.  So great had this
people been but now they were destroying themselves as angry and out
of control as "Kali"

Watchful of speech, and well controlled in mind, let him do no evil with
the body; let him do no evil with the body; let him purify these three ways
of action and attain the path attained by the Holy


This was his heart so pure that following the noble path was destined
and assured.  But he came with a message of caution he said things
that the ignorant did not know and the selfish did not wish to hear.
 He was to have said these things:

"There is happiness in life,
happiness in friendship,
happiness of a family,
happiness in a healthy body and mind,
but when one loses them, there is suffering.
To end suffering completely one must remove
desire, ill will and ignorance"


Those were many who in their greed, lust, envy, wrath wished him
harm. But how can one who is on a mission from God himself stumble? 
And so he talked the words of a lay man so all could understand.  It was
these stories that he told the children that were the seed.  The seed that
would grow like the great Bodhi tree where Buddha had first encountered
God.  But it was always destined... for to God all eternity is like a book,
writen by him and yet even if the book itself burned he would write anew. 
And the new book would be better than the one before.  For God looks
in the mirror and sees himself in his own eyes and in those eyes he exists
again and so on.  He is infinity and one at the same time.  And yet the
Buddha talked not of God for he knew that God wanted his children to
grow and with knowledge he hoped his children would be his equals and
maybe greater. 

And it was the Buddha who said that there was salvation from
suffering, that there was hope.  He was to have said:

"The kind of seed sown
 will produce that kind of fruit.
 Those who do good will reap good results.
 Those who do evil will reap evil results.
 If you carefully plant a good seed,
 You will joyfully gather good fruit."

But he was only a man, some said he was a God, but he never
lost his humble nature although he could have been a mighty king.
It was a difficult path he took to help those that thought that their
God had died or forgotten them.  With the teaching there was a
new hope in the world, a new strength to the hearts of those whose
hearts were tired.

But as some say time heals old wounds, there are always the age
old wounds resurfacing and the temptation, ignorance and ill will
spread as he had hoped it would not have.  He had gone where
no one knew.  But God told him simply: "They are children, they
must make  the same mistake so many times before they learn" 
And Buddha told him that he understood...For he could see his
past lives and he could see that he had not been perfect even in
the end...He had simply tipped the scales of fortune to allow him
to reach Nibbana.

And war and hatred still spread like the locusts in Egypt during
Moses attack on Pharoh.  The plagues that had come from
Pandora's box were so great that they eclipsed the only redeemer
that existed...Hope...And so the numbers grew that had lost hope...
And God's heart was breaking...he wished them to try and struggle
to gain hope again...But they were dead inside...Their soul was gone
to a no mans land.  And so he said it is time that I visit my children.

Some believed that God had turned his back away from them...
That his tears and anger when they went to Lucifer for change saying:
 "we suffer, and other are happy.  Please let those that are happy
suffer and let us be the only ones happy."  He replied wiith
"Give me your allegience until your deaths and the time after." 
and they not knowing blindly joined the Army of the damned
and the army raged a war that made Satan an equal among the
allegiences of the people of Earth.

But the faithful listened with their hearts and hoped and never
lost their faith that there was the one.Greaater than Satan and
whose heaaart waas pure and would purify the hearts of both
them and their brothers who were damned.

So he decideed to visit them, the one with infinate names who
created the stars decided he would go and be as they were:
as one of them.  To learn why the people haad broken the
vows that would let them win the battle against suffering and evil.

But when he went he came to realize that his heart the one he
shared with the one known as Jesus was constantly hurting. 
Sorrow was everyehere and yet he was lucky.  The choices
that they had to make were not as clear cut as he had thought. 
His heart cried for the thief that stole for his starving family
and had not a crumb for himself.  The whore who was raped
by her father when she was twelve who after crying and starving
on the street for two years finally chose to be a prostitute and
then killed herself.  The one who had given Adam choice realized
that possibly there was no choice at all.  So decideed he had to
change the rules, he haad to be more fair, for his heart hurt.  So it
was said that he went atop a mount and said the essentials fo a
new world for his people...or so he hoped.

So he first talked of beauty.  What gave him hope from all the
saddness and suffering.  He was said to have told them:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall he comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness:
for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall
obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see
God. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the
children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for
righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you,
and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for My sake"


But he was not finished, for this talk on this mountain would be
his greatest miricle....Because he would teach his people how
to make miricles among themselves.  For he was one of them now...
These were his people and he had realized what it meant to have
a "human heart" and from it he said:

"For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with
what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And
why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eve, but
considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt
thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye;
and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?"


It was his hope that there would be no judgement till the day
of judgement.  That judgenment would be replaced with compassion
and then he told him the words that would give them renewed faith
and hope like a fountain in the desert for the thirsty. His words
would be used to defeat the followers of the evil one on this world. 
So he told them:

"Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is
the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there he which
go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way,
which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."


It was a path that he wanted them to follow, no matter how
difficult he urged them never to call upon Satan for refuge. 
And so it was said that this life was a test and that the only
thing needed to pass was the heart of a human.  For it was
as good as even him.

God had sent a teacher after who was not a God only a human
his name was Mohammed and his words gave strength to more
people.  The hearts of humanity filled with hope and happiness
because they realized the happiness they found from God and
the fact that Lucifer enjoyed the suffeering even of his allies.

And the Word of God was told to those who opened their
hearts to listen:

'Shall I inform you
of something worse than that
as a reward with God?
Those whom God haaas cursed,
and with whom God is Angry,
of whom God haaas made apes and swine
and slaaves of seducers.
Theirs is an evil state,
and it leads away
from the right path"

It was the path thaat Jesus had told of before and the noble
path of the Buddha...It waa truly the paath of light and goodness
and the humman heart was the compass and he understood that
every man, woman, or child waas on the path.  He urged his followers
not to stray.  But he knew that the paath could be followed to heaven
by so many routes and so God said:

"Indeed, be they Muslims,
Jews, Sabians, or Christinas,
those who believe in God
and the final day
and who do good
have nothing to fear,
and they will not grieve"

And like the Buddha he taught that you must associate with
the wise and compassionate and the way to God is easier
with the aid of faithful friends and so he said:

"And what hinders us
from believing in God
and what has come to us from the Truth?
For we hope that God
will allow us to be with
a people who are good."

And the years past and the followers of the one known as
Jesus grew.  But just as large the followers of Mohammed
grew, their armies fortolled descendants from the Brothers
Ishmael and Isaac.  Sons of Abraham and with it grew their
ignorance, their hatred, and most of all their desire.  Their desire
for money, for sex, for power had corrupted them and yet they
were united in their hatred for each other.  They both believed
that the other were Satan's beasts that they were a heathen to
be destroyed.  And yet they all believed that one would return
to fight for them.  Ironically they both believed in Jesus...That
Jesus would come and end all the days with a sword that would
smite the opposing army.  Both sides thought they were justified
that they were in the right.

And then thre were the ones who followed the one who preceded
Jesus and so they did not have an army but their faith was as strong
and their teacher had oled them down a positive path.  They tried
to calm the anger, to end ill will.  But the blood lust was growing
and so they prayed for something unthinkable before.

It is said that after his liberation he returned from the Golden Cloud,
to take up once again the gauntlet of Heaven, to oppose the Order
of Life and those who ordained it so.  His followers had prayed for
his return, though their prayers were sin.  prayer shouuld not trouble
one who has gone to Nirvana, no matter what the circumstances of
his going.  The wearers of the saffron robe prayed, however, that
He of the Sword, Siddhartha, should come aagain among them.
 The Boddhisatva is said to have heard....


He whose desires have been throttled,
who is independent of root,
whose paasture is emptiness-
signless and free-
his path is as unknowable
as that of birds across the heavens

And it was close to end time....The Day of Judgement was
near and yet it looked like heaven would be a battlefield like
the time of Lucifer's fall.  All who killed in the name of God
and who judged others into hoplessness.  They had all been
promised access through the holy gates because of Jesus. 
And they all believed in Jesus.  The time had come when no
one doubted him but no one followed his creed.  And yet
the innocent still sang the song that ringed through so many
places where they had not lost the true faith...they sang:

"My Deliverer is coming - My Deliverer is standing by!"

It is said that, when the teacher appeared, those of all castes
went to hear his teachings, as well as animals, gods and an
occaisional saint, to come away improved and uplifted. 
It waas generally conceded that he had recieved enlightenment,
except by those who believed him to be a fraud, sinner, criminal
or practical joker.  These latter ones were not all to be numbered
as his enemies, but, on the other hand, not supporters.  His followers
called him Mahasamatman and some said he was a god.  So, after
 it was seen that he had been accepted as a teacher, was looked
upon with respect, but many of the wealthy numbered as his supporters
and had gained a reputation reaching faar across the land, he was
referred to as Tathagatha, meaning He Who has Achieved.  It must be
noted that while the goddess Kali never voiced a formal opinion as to his
buddhahood, she did render him the singular honor of dispatching her
holy executioner to pay him her tribute, rather than a mere hired assasin...


There is no disappearing of the true Dhamma until a false Dhamma
arises in the world.  When the false Ddhamma arises, he makes the
true Dhamma to disappear.

And the Dhamma had dissapeared...The sermon on the mount forgotten....
And so the numbers who reached the heaven world was few...The
teacher had come back from Nirvana too late and the anger that
was like the Wrath of Kali smote him as well.  And the blood was
like an Ocean and those that died were mostly in Hell, The numbers
there were billions and those in heaven were few.  And yet those in
heaven suffered.  They cried to the lord and begged him to give the
damned another chance another salvation.  And so it is with those that
reach heaven their hearts are with the damned. 

It was said that God shed a single tear from the unified cry to save
their bretheren and that tear fell on earth and it covered Hell and even
Lucifer was forgiven for Lucifer had suffered most of all.  He was
also a son of God too and the tears of happiness flowed through
everyones eyes.  They had gone through a great journey and learnt
some important lessons.  And then God said that he would leave
them again in freedom to have choice. The question was who would
be first to be tempted.  That is another story to be told but it was not
to be Lucifer...for never again did Lucifer stray.
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